I'm going to sum up what we learned at a high level. If you have followed our journey, you will know this is a different medical story than what we thought. It's complicated and I'm not going to get into the details. Please do not comment on this contradiction; please just support us with prayer and encouragement as we move forward.
We went to the Children's Hospital for her heart cath on May 8th. During pre-cath testing, her echo showed that both holes in her heart are in fact still completely open. The ASD was obviously open, per my last post and that's the reason we were doing the cath; to close the ASD. What we learned in addition that the VSD was still open and large in size. Upon the advise of the Dr.'s we moved forward with the cath to determine pressures in her heart & lungs. Normally a VSD of her size would have been closed at about 6 months of age in the US to avoid the child from developing Pulmonary Hypertension (high pressure in the lungs). Unfortunately, Harli's heart was not repaired & is still not repaired - she is not eligible for the open heart surgery to repair her heart at this time due to the Pulmonary Hypertension she has developed due to the VSD not being closed. I'm not going to go into exactly what we've been told, but at first some of what we were told wasn't so uplifting or optimistic. This is hard to hear, especially hard to wrap your head around since she doesn't have any symptoms currently. Thankfully, we have been in touch with Dr's, and other families, that are much more familiar and it seems that there will be more options than we initially thought.
For those of you that would like to be educated on her medical condition, you can read here about VSD here about ASD and here about Pulmonary Hypertension
What do we do next...
#1 - PRAY, please pray with us that God heals her heart & lungs
#2 - WAIT, to hear from all the Dr's in various states that are reviewing her file right now
#3 - BE STILL, prayerfully & diligently determine a course of treatment with her Dr's that will give her the healthiest, longest life
#4 - HOPE, do not lose hope that she WILL become a candidate for the surgery that could make a huge difference in her life
#5 - PRAY MORE, pray that our family can see God's grace in this journey and that our hearts are prepared for the unknown as we may have to travel out of state several times to figure out the best care for her
Our Super Girl; indeed
Now that I have addressed Harli's medical, I'm going to answer the #2 question. Are we still going to adopt Mia? The answer is YES. Honestly, we did take a small step back to make sure we were on the same page. But, we quickly realized that this is His plan for us and we will lay this at His feet. Harli is over the moon excited to become a big sister and Mia still needs her family. He is ALWAYS in the details. While we were at the hospital, we learned that our Home Study had been approved. We were expecting some questions or delays since we have a big family, we were also expecting this to take at least 3 weeks. However, no questions, no nothing - approval in 10 days...super fast, such a blessing. We are continuing to work as fast as we can to bring Mia home! Here are some updated pictures of her!
The #3 thing I want to talk about is our faith in this situation. Our faith has not changed, this one moment doesn't define or change our faith. Sure, we thought prayer worked and a miracle was performed...that Harli's heart healed on it's own (or that her medical was off). BUT, just because that isn't what happened doesn't mean that we don't believe God heard us or that He doesn't want her healed. Maybe we weren't supposed to find out until now, maybe the miracle is yet to come!! He has a plan for her and a testimony that has only just begun.
1 John 5:14
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
We don't know the plan for any of our lives; only He does. As it goes...God is good all the time, all the time God is good. No matter what the plan is for each of us, He is in control and He is always good. None of this is a surprise to Him. We know that He will make our paths straight. None of us are promised a certain number of days here on earth, not even tomorrow. BUT, we are promised tomorrow in Heaven if not here on earth! That is the grace and hope that moves us forward during any difficult situation.
During the last few weeks with Harli's medical, I've thought a lot about a couple in our church that lost their child at a young age. An age the the Dr. said Harli would probably only live to had she not been adopted or without treatment. I can't imagine their pain. Their faith has been so incredible and I doubt they even know the example they have provided to their church family as we watched from afar. I had to comment on our faith during this journey because we have already had people mock or question prayer and our faith a little. I don't really mind this because it allows us a platform to say...yes, this is horrible but we still stand strong in what we believe. This doesn't make us question our faith; it really only makes us pull closer to Him. We haven't lost hope in a miracle, hope in total healing for our sweet little girl. It's been an emotional month, exhausting month, an emotionally-exhausting month. It feels like our world is standing still when really everything is spinning around us and we're trying to keep up. Life keeps moving forward, but it feels like in some ways we are trapped in the same spot. The only thing we can do is put Jesus at the center and set our eyes on Him. I can only wonder how this may be a similar feeling on a very, very small level to what this family must have felt/may still be feeling. I am so grateful for their painfully beautiful example of faith. It may seem strange, but I've thought about them several times and it reminds me that no matter how bad things are or seem - hope is always found in Jesus!
The #4 thing, while I'm on a roll is regarding loving an adopted child as "your own" (biological child). YES, YES, YES you can love an adopted child just as if they were your biological child. I know people wonder this as they adopt or as they choose not to adopt. I'm not here to say if adoption is right or wrong for your family, only you can decide that. But, I can tell you that adoption is not a second best choice and you absolutely can love an adopted child every bit as much as a biological child. Going through this just proved this to us all over again. It's amazing how you can feel that bond; it truly feels like she was perfectly selected for our family - oh wait....she was! ; )
I made this blog so that people could follow our adoption process. I also wanted people on the fence about adoption to have a real picture of it (even though there's so much more I could share). I have to say that I do feel badly that there are so many amazing things about our other children that I don't share because we don't have a family blog. So, just so you know, each one of our other children are wonderful as well and we are so proud of each one of them! A family blog may be in order soon!
We love your family and will be praying for our BIG GOD to do BIG THINGS!!
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